Thanks to the insane blizzard we had in Northeast Ohio over the weekend I had plenty of time to tackle last weeks challenge to clean out my closet. I realized I am a bit sentimental, and weirdly attach memories to clothing. So I did put some of my cool old band tshirts in storage, but after that, there was not a lot of clothing left. Well, that's not entirely true... I work at a rad tshirt shop so I still have a decent amount of graphic T's left. I also have a couple of dresses, and a couple of nicer going out type shirts left. But getting all the ill fitting stuff out of my closet felt SO GOOD! While my closet now looks a bit empty, I don't feel as anxiety ridden when picking out an outfit. Over the next few months I will be working on rebuilding a closet made up of things I really love and feel good in. I'm going to share photos of the stuff I buy so watch my social media for those pics!
This week my challenge is going to be a little different... I'm going to send out messages to a bunch of my family and friends asking them to tell me 3 different words they would use to define beauty. I think everyone sees beauty in such different and interesting ways. For example, boyfriend and I took our blended family to the art museum recently. We have 3 kids between us. While touring the galleries, I had all 3 kids stand in a row and asked them each individually what stood out to them. All three answers were all so very different. I imagine the answers to my beauty defining question will all be incredibly different as well. I'm not really sure how I will apply this information to my journey but I think it will at least give me some insight into how people think! I can't wait to read and share some of the answers with you guys!
Last thing. I made it to week 4! Only 48 more weeks to go!! I just want to again thank everyone for all of the support and encouragement! You guys are awesome!!
So here we are, week three! This past week I challenged myself to write down the opposite of every negative thought I had about myself. Which was a lot. Man, I am HARD on myself. I do feel this challenge actually made a difference. By the end of the week I was stopping myself mid thought and changing it to the positive so I would't have to write anything down. Which I may have done out of laziness, but it actually did have a positive effect. I am going to continue this one because I think forcing myself to think the positive thought will eventually lead to just thinking more positively about myself overall.
Confession time....Hello, My name is Cori and I have a problem. At least 75% of the time I have a full on toddler-style temper tantrum when picking an outfit for an evening out. Sometimes the tantrum involves crying or sometimes I throw a shirt across the room in a fit of rage. Mind you, this all occurs while trying on at least 5-10 outfits. I've also been known to lash out at my very understanding, caring boyfriend. After I have these ridiculous tantrums I am horribly embarrassed and ashamed of my behavior.
I think a lot of this problem stems from not cleaning out my closet often enough. I have clothes hanging in there that are to small and some that are to big. So what happens is, I'll have an idea of what I want to wear...I create these super rad outfits in my head. Then, when I am ready to get dressed and the shirt doesn't fit right or the pants look weird, I lose my mind.
**Side note: I just realized that I am sharing this with anyone and everyone who is willing to read my blog. So, please don't judge me. A lot of the time, maybe even most of the time I'm super sweet and fun to be around!**
So for this week's challenge, I put an end to the tantrums! (Or at least cut it down to only 10% of the time) I binge watched all of Tidying Up with Marie Kondo so I feel I am armed with her incredible wisdom. Now I can tackle getting rid of the clothing that doesn't "spark joy" as she says.
I am going to need a lot of new clothing. I want my closet to only contain things that I really love and feel confident in. While I won't be able to replace my wardrobe entirely in a week, it will be a work in progress.
Wish me luck everyone... hopefully boyfriend doesn't come home from work tomorrow and find me buried under a pile of ill fitting clothing crying. But if he does, I think he'll love me through it.
If you have any ideas for a challenge I can do in the coming weeks I'd love to hear it, just leave it in the comments on here! Thanks everyone!
Well I'm off to a bit of a rough start. While I had every intention of sitting down each morning and writing down one thing about my body that I like. That didn't happen. I did it the first two days, but after having such a negative body image for such a long time it was HARD. I forced myself to sit down and write 5 more right before working on this blog post. So, while this is somewhat embarrassing, I've decided I am going to share the list with all of you.
1. Ankles - Always been relatively small and cute
2. Dreamy blue eyes - They are super pretty
3. Proper waist - Has always stayed proportionate to rest of my body
4. Cheek bones - With a great highlight I can make them look great
5. Armpits - I know this one is weird, but I'm kind of a freak of nature and I don't grow armpit hair. It's the greatest thing in the entire world, and it makes me feel truly special.
6. My ears - They are little and I never feel self conscious about them.
7. My collar bone area - I like the way it looks in a v-neck t-shirt.
I am hoping when I get to week 52 it will be much easier to make this kind of list.
This coming weeks challenge is inspired by the fact that I have a big problem with negative self talk. I am in my head ALL the time. Thinking awful things like:
"I hate the way my arms look in this shirt."
"My stomach looks gross in this dress."
"My double chin looks so bad in that picture."
If other people talked to me the way I talk to myself I'd be curled up in the fetal position on the floor crying. So... this week, every time I have a negative thought about my body I am going to take out my notebook and write down the opposite of the thought. That way hating my arms in my dress becomes loving my arms ect..
I solemnly swear that I will follow through with this week.
Lastly, I ordered the book pictured below. It should arrive tomorrow! I'm hoping it'll help me find some inspiration for the next 50 weeks! If you have any ideas for a weeks challenge I'd love to hear them, just leave them in the comments on here! Thanks everyone!
I have struggled with my weight for at least the last 23 years. Yes, since I was 12. It honestly has probably been longer than that, but 12 is the age I remember needing a bigger size in jeans and being totally miserable while shopping.
I have been on every diet under the sun. I know this is the part where I am going to lose a lot of you because you're thinking to yourself, you just haven't found the right diet!!! Or, you can lose the weight!! I know I'm going to get messages that say things like "I was once like you! I did (insert diet I probably tried 8 years ago here) and got to my goal weight!" Well, that is great for you!! You finally lost the freshman fifteen you gained in 2003! But for me, this time around it's not a number on a scale or a particular size, its finding a way to love me as I am.
Does this mean I give up on eating better or working out? Nope. Also, If someone offered me a tummy tuck tomorrow I would do it in a heart beat. This also doesn't mean that I am committing to being a size 18 for the rest of my life, I am not the new plus size spokesperson, defending the rights of every overweight person in America. This is an incredibly selfish journey I am setting out on....
And I have kind of a hard time being selfish. I have kiddos that I happily always put first, I have a relationship with an amazing man, and work and a million other commitments that I always put above myself. And while I can't blow off packing my sons lunches for school every morning to stand in front of the mirror reciting words of affirmation for 30 minutes. I can commit to writing down one thing about my body I am grateful for and why each day. So that will be the challenge for week one. HEY! I think I just figured out the formula for this whole thing! Each week I will write about how the previous week went, and announce what I plan to do the next week.
SO stay tuned!!!
Good lord this could end up being the biggest embarrassment of my life, or it could end up being what makes my life a million times better.
I have spent most if not all of my adult life being uncomfortable in my own skin. I could go on and on and on about why. The fact that I'm "plus size", how finding clothes that fit my body is an absolute nightmare, the way larger women are portrayed in the media ect...
But that's not what this blog is about.
Life is short, and I've realized that I spend way to much time thinking negatively about my body. So, for the sake of my sanity I have decided to change my self image. The best way I can think to do this is to challenge myself to sit down once a week and write about my journey for 52 weeks.
I know. Everyone has a blog. Everybody is talking about body issues and body shaming ect. But I'm not everyone, I'm me. The "battle" for my own self-worth has always taken place inside my mind and that has gotten me nowhere. The fact that I'm even attempting to do this in such a public way is really scary for me. That's why I know it's something I need to do.
Here goes nothing..